I have a very different outlook on business. It involves looking at the world through a more feminine perspective. I find this not only helps my female clients, but it serves my male clients as well.
First let me clarify what I mean by feminine and masculine. We all have both sides inside of us. Nature also exhibits both sides. I believe that the female archetype is radiant, open, our lifeforce. It is mother earth and beautiful creator. It is action when done in radiance and it is being, not doing. Masculine is very directed, focused, present. It is action to accomplish something, get to the end result and more often focuses on doing. We have to develop both these aspects in ourselves.
Lately I have been listening to a very amazing man, David Deida, who centers his gift to others on opening them up spiritually and sexually. He talks a lot about what he sees as the feminine essence and masculine essence. I am going to offer my own interpretation here and my own synthesis of my personal experience. I would suggest you check him out for yourself.
It seems to me that as important as it is to balance our masculine and feminine sides, that each of us, male or female, have a masculine or feminine essence. I will also go on to explain how businesses have a feminine or masculine essence a little bit later. The key to this, whichever essence you have, is that by staying true to that essence you open yourself up the divine flow, your connection to source. There are men that have a feminine essence and women that have a male essence. It is not gender specific. So often, we are living in the wrong side, trying to be masculine, when our feminine essence is dying to be fulfilled. Same is true of the other side. When we are not living our true essence, we are closed off to the flow.
There are exceptions, but for the most part in today’s world, we are way off balance. Business has become a very masculine domain, and because of the lack of balance, women are way over compensating and trying to shove their feminine essence into a box and function in a masculine world.
Now the essence of a business depends on really who is running it, or who started it. What I teach my clients is the consciousness of the business is determined by those in charge. If there is a masculine essence and it is working in a masculine way, that can be good. But if there is an essence that is not fulfilled, ie. A feminine essence that is acting in a masculine way, it can be more challenging and a lot more effort. One of the principles of work/life balance is working with nature instead of against it. Therefore, you have more balance when there is less effort. Women are great at living in that masculine world, we have learned to succeed tremendously, but many feel they are not fulfilled or able to balance very well the other aspects of their lives.
So here we come to the new evolution of businesses, business the feminine way. Being true to your essence, finding those areas that are effortless and increasing your flow there, while decreasing attention and obsession with areas that require a lot of effort. For women-owned businesses, a lot of the effort is getting clients, sales. We love being in our job, working with people, doing what it is we love to do, but going after the sale is a whole other ballpark. The way people view sales these days is very masculine, you get very directed, focused and purposeful, you sell yourself, you hook them, you don’t let them get away. You sell yourself by reasoning why you are the best. “Look, here is the proof.” This is not a feminine way of doing business. The feminine way is living through your essence, being seen, meeting people, connecting with groups of women, being with people. It is more about spreading seeds that pulling the weeds. We are more true to ourselves when we are attracting clients than getting them. The problem is that the majority of business owners don’t know how to attract clients, how to live that feminine essence. Even masculine businesses often need to attract clients this way, especially when the primary target market is women. You can’t sell to women like you do to men. We just function differently. I used to teach a course on marketing to women and I taught it to primarily male-dominated industries. It was awesome how enlightened they were about how women function and how they could turn the sales around by learning how to meet the feminine essence.
I am offering next month a new group series called, “Business the Feminine Way”, because I see how important this topic is for more work/life balance. If you are interested, please email me and I will put you on the list for my upcoming promos. It is the new revolution. I encourage all of you to look at your business and your life and ask yourself are you living your essence, do you feel alive, feel the energy, are you in the flow that is right for you. Just becoming aware of where you are out of balance is an amazing start.
Monday, March 17, 2008
I wanted to explore today the idea of doing enough and being enough. This is a topic I will probably address often. Since my passion is constantly understanding, uncovering and moving towards more work/life balance, this is a key issue I address in my practice and in my own daily walk. Most people wake up everyday with a to-do list, tasks that need to be addressed, checked off, "accomplished". As we end our day, we often feel we haven't done enough, there is still a pile of things to do and we haven't quite made a dent yet. We are often so drained of energy, some of us go to sleep wary of the next day and others stay up late to find some of that "me" time they couldn't quite fit in during the day. It is an endless cycle and one that take us far away from balance.
It begs the question, why are we here? Why do we exist to do more and be more and we never seem to get wherever it is we are going. That space where our energy sinks, where discouragement sets in or overwhelm or disappointment is a dead end road and it leads us away from being really alive. We hit these feelings when we are not living to our set of standards, the picture we have of where we should be, what we should accomplish, what is enough. And who creates this picture? Ultimately, we do.
So today I began to contemplate why we exist, what is beyond the endless trying to be enough and do enough, and I saw a new perspective. What if the only reason we are here is to move forward, to gain some win or triumph, to grow, even one millionth of an inch. Then the victories we have every day, as small as they might be or as vast as they might be is all we have to do to be fulfilling that purpose. Just getting out of bed can be a great accomplishment, packing your kids off for school, tucking them in, connecting with a friend, kissing a loved one. Simple triumphs that have a ripple effect on all of humanity. If you subscribe to the idea that at some level we are connected through collective consciousness, and I do, then you have to see that every courageous step you take no matter how small is a great gift to humanity.
I don't know if this will change the way you look at things, but it did for me. My journey towards balance is a constant walk. I, like so many others, struggle with my humanity, my weaknesses, my life challenges. So much of what I preach, I practice. My life lessons are what I have to offer the world. Being okay with what I do everyday and with who I am is one of those life lessons. Accepting that everything I do, no matter how small, is enough. That it adds to the world in some small or large way. It may not be my picture of who I should be today, but it is who I am.
I look at people as having one side that is divinity and one side that is humanity. They are both beautiful and necessary. Yet, the more we accept and love our humanity, the more our divinity shines. In my belief system our humanity is the limiting beliefs we hold, the ego, the compulsions, all of those things that help us forget who we really are. We are our divinity. Every time we are letting our divine essence flow, there is nothing else to do, nothing else to be. We are perfect as we are in every moment. We just need to acknowledge it. Acknowledge that we got up this morning, that we got our kids off to school, that we did something that moved us forward. And that is good enough.
We can go to bed knowing that we changed humanity, one little drop of consciousness at a time. We can stop beating ourselves up for not getting enough done, and realize we are always enough already. I encourage you to do that today. Stand up and say "I am enough, I do enough". Acknowledge all you did today as being good. Look for the little ways you are being your divine essence: a smile there, a consideration here, a moment of giving, an intention to serve others. Enjoy the state of just being for a few moments. Breathe in this moment. Look around you at the colors, the shapes, the movement. This is good enough. As always, I salute the divinity in you and I wish you many blessings on this journey towards life.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
This is my first post, so I believe I should better introduce myself. My name is Sonya Davis, and I own a company called Be Conscious. I started this company several years ago, and over the years it has evolved to finally be an integration of all the aspects of my life. I spent years struggling to maintain balance: juggling work, being a single mother, my spirituality, a social life, all in the efforts to find balance. This ultimately became my experience and my passion: the road to work/life balance.
Now I am a work/life balance coach. It is my gift to give, my truest expression of my divine self. I have combined my business, marketing, life, spirituality and relationship experience to bring to others the world lessons I have incurred on my long journey. I am glad to say that what I have to give I have struggled to learn, hitting major life catastrophes along the way. After all these amazing life lessons, what I have now is a divine connection to my spirit that allows me to tap into my true gifts, wisdom and intuitive understanding. I have fought uphill battles and won. I have spent years trying to understand what life is all about. It is a gift, every aspect of it. I know that my experience gives me a profound understanding of life and it is the number one asset I have to give others.
So, what I do is help others awaken to their own divine potential. I use tools that allow them to sense their energy and know when it is open and flowing and when it is closed. The truth is life is all about energy. Like so many of us, we are always depleted of our resources, most often time and money. What I help my clients see is that being depleted of time and money is really about stuck and blocked energy. You can feel for yourself. When you are tapped into your divine flow of energy, things seem to be in alignment, life is a joy, there is more time and money for everything in your life. Some people experience this often in their lives, and some never experience it at all. What gets in the way of the flow? Often limiting beliefs about ourselves or about how the world works, as well as misdirected attention and energy. I give a new perspective on balance that is based on understanding how consciousness works (i.e. beliefs, mental structures, and energy) and how to take action and manifest in the real world. It takes both to completely transform your life or business.
I believe in integration. It is the principle of becoming whole. The more we integrate, the less fragmented we become. Our world is very fragmented and so is our lives. I love to work with moms, because as a mom our life is more fragmented than other people. We are balancing our kids lives, our household, work, social relationships, to-do list and we hardly ever find time for self-care. I am a firm supporter in helping moms find a way to have it all, which is why my business focuses on not only work/life balance, but creating successful businesses as well. We are in an age of more freedom, if we are only willing to take the leap. The possibilities are endless and today we can have a business doing almost anything. I help people open up to their divine flow, finding their passion and purpose. It is beautiful road. It is a journey that has led me to my passion and purpose.
I started a company called Be Conscious, because being more aware is the key to it all. This is a conscious creation for me, one that is my divine gift and pleasure to bring to the world. I am blessed for all of those traveling along side of me. Please follow me as I continue my way through this journey. I will have many more blogs to come. I salute the divinity in you. Many blessings.