Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Working with the flow, instead of against it.

So I talk a lot about the flow. It is a key piece to doing business the feminine way. I also think it is a key to work/life balance and a happy, fulfilling life. It seems to me the world has been tipped the way of the masculine for far too long, and the feminine spirit has been ignored and devalued, especially in business. If you look at natural cycles, whether in the universe or within our own bodies, you see that there is an ebb and a flow. Even our menstrual cycle is based on this ebb and flow. For far too many of us, we are in a battle with these natural cycles and rhythms, desperate to control everything around us. It makes sense with the lives we have created. When you are juggling 100 balls in the air, if one piece is out of sync, then everything falls apart around us. When we fight the natural movement in ourselves or the universe, things just don’t work. No matter how hard we fight or push or prod, things don’t move easily or abundantly.

I think it is really important to cultivate more awareness of the flow in your life and your business. Sometimes there is a time to rest, to be and sometimes there is a time to do, but unless we know which time is which we wind up in a battle with our own natural rhythms. How do you discern what time it is? You just listen. Take the time to tap into your own rhythm and trust it. I often feel a need to be more inward, to slow, to rest, but being a single mom running two companies, I often feel the need to keep going, keep pushing myself and ignore my natural rhythm. It doesn’t help that the masculine messages I grew up with were “work harder”, “Keep your nose to the grindstone” and “Keep plugging away”. I often fight my own feminine spirit dying to have some time to connect, to rest and to be at peace. Just recently, I recognized this pattern occurring in my life. Here I am pushing myself to the limits, and yet it isn’t producing anything except stress, frustration and a complete lack of flow. I realized that the reason it felt like there was no flow, is because I was moving against the flow, instead of listening and tapping into my own intuitive guidance.

In the business world most of us grew up in, you can’t just stop pushing to rest, it seems from a reasoning mind that this would not produce results, but failure. The pressure to succeed financially, physically and mentally has caused us to ignore our bodies signals to slow down and feel the flow. What I have discovered in my own life, is that as soon as I realize that I am fighting the flow, and I stop and rest or follow my spirit’s needs and desires, the flow increases and the magic in my life becomes apparent once again. This is a big piece to manifesting or creating your dreams. You have to be willing to tap into the flow of your energy and listen to where it takes you. We are still the directors of our energy, but being aware of the natural flow of the river only helps our life or business move more easily. Trying to constantly fight the current is one of the main reasons we get exhausted, overwhelmed or depressed.

Today, as you walk through your day, take notice of your energy, your flow, does it feel like you are fighting against the current, or flowing down the stream?

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Finding Balance in the Storm

We may work really hard to create a life that is more balanced, a job we love, and a community of nurturing and caring people, but eventually the storms with come. It is inevitable. The storms and chaos that shows up out of nowhere is a natural part of life, and although those times can be reduced, we need effective tools to stabilize ourselves in the midst of the storm.

So I thought I might talk a little bit today about controlling your attention. If you look at your own life, the times when you have been thrown off course, knocked off center and thrown for a loop, what is the common denominator, what did you do with your attention? Often, we get distracted, something hits us and we get so wrapped up in the fall out, that we forget our course and the goals we are working towards. We forget for a moment that we have a choice in what’s happening. Sometimes the choice may be just to direct our attention back to the goal we are moving towards, instead of on the storm that is fluctuating around us.

This is a lesson that has been present in many religions and spiritual practices for ages. It is no different than meditation or yoga, the core idea being to bring your attention back to the moment. It can be a challenge for many of us, when we are so trained to put all of our attention and energy on the drama or chaos right in front of us.

So how do we learn to control our attention? Practice. The first step is really recognizing that you have a choice. When something turns everything upside down, stop in the moment and realize you have the power to choose how you handle it. There are lots of practices that will help you strengthen your control of attention, yoga and meditation are one example. I also often use a candle exercise where you set a time clock for 10 minutes, sit in front of a lit candle and put all your attention on the flame. When your attention wanders bring it back.

The key is to strengthen your attention muscle. The more you bring your attention back, the stronger your control will get and the more attention and energy you will have for you goals. Don’t expect to find perfection, our mind loves to get distracted. Yet if you learn to control your attention, you will find calm in any storm. This is one of the keys to stability and it leads to more balance physically, emotionally and spiritually. Attention is also one of the main components to manifestation, but we can talk about that another time. For more information on ways you can utilize and manage your attention, check out my workshop coming up in October.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Managing your energy, i.e. time, money, relationships, overwhelm

We have an intuitive sense that energy is the underlying principle of the universe, yet very few of us have a real understanding of our own energy: how it operates, what fuels our energy or drains it. We often have ideas about this, but very little real awareness.

Creating business the feminine way is all about learning to manage your energy. In truth, time, money and relationship issues really can be drilled down to an inability to manage our energy effectively. I subscribe to the idea that we are at the heart of everything that is happening to us and around us. Learning to manage our energy, shifts our interactions with others and therefore our reality. What a breath of fresh air to know that we have that kind of power in our own lives.

There are lots of signs to show you that you are not effectively managing your energy: stress, overwhelm, frustration, lack of attention and focus, being tired, relationship strains, etc. When we feel any of these, we should immediately take stock of our energy. What is going on? What is draining me? What am I not honoring in myself? What am I not in integrity with? Who am I not being honest with? These questions will reveal the holes in our consciousness that are letting the energy drain out.

You can think of it like a pipe. Our energy flows from the divine and, without holes in our pipe, leads to a lot of energy and flow in the physical world. Yet when we have holes in the form of dishonesty, devaluing, stretching ourselves too thin, dishonoring our desires and being, then the energy flows out the holes and we find ourselves with very little energy in the physical world.

There are techniques and tools for better managing our energy, these are some of the things I cover in my Business the Feminine Way workshop, but first must come awareness. The next time you feel drained, tired or overwhelmed, I encourage you to stop what you are doing and take a few minutes to assess your energy. Ask yourself the above questions and look for the holes that are draining the divine energy from your life. Often becoming aware will begin to plug some of them up and being honest with yourself and with others is really the key to increasing your energy and allowing more of the divine to flow in your life. Today, may you all feel the divine energy that is your birthright. Many blessings, Sonya

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Putting Business the Feminine Way into Practice

I have talked a lot about how to create a business that is thriving the feminine way. As you can see from my lack of posts, I have been busy putting my techniques and tools into practice. I have just recently opened a work/life balance and wellness center. You can check it out at It is my baby, my passion and an integration of all that I am and everything I have learned. In short, it has been a labor of love. It is amazing to put your own tools into practice and really see the effectiveness of what they have to offer. I will be revamping my business as well, integrating my coaching, workshops and marketing company into one amazing practice. So continue to look for my posts and upcoming events. I have another Business the Feminine Way Workshop August 9th, so don't miss it. I wish you all many blessings.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Superwoman Syndrome

How many of us strive to be superwoman. I know for most of us, running businesses, running homes, running around, can run our own lives often into the ground. The idea of taking a break, finding support, finding relief is hard to grasp. I often find myself in this syndrome, trying to do it all, trying to have it all and often forgetting to use the resources I have been blessed with.

Today, I wanted to talk about a very important aspect to approaching business the feminine way. We are here to work together, not alone. It seems like such a common understanding, and yet I think individually we still think there is something we have to accomplish on our own, some place we have to strive to get and no one can help us get there. We have our own seeking, our own striving and we force ourselves to be more, do more and accomplish more than we need to.

I know in my own life, I am moving towards a new paradigm, one where we combine our tremendous wealth as individuals to create something bigger than ourselves, something that serves more of humanity and in that creation we find how much bigger we are as well.

The Superwoman syndrome is interesting, because instead of making us feel like a superhero, it actually makes us feel quite small. We can never live up to our ideal of what that woman is, it is seen as a tall dark shadow whose shoes we are trying to fill. Yet, surrounded by others who are combined in intention to create something beautiful, our gifts stand out, our beauty unfolds and who we really our comes to light.

I have recently been involved in taking on more partners in a truly amazing venture, one that is far bigger than myself, and I have had to confront my superwoman syndrome. The need to hold on to the whole picture, to still prove that I am everything I want to be. It has been a time of letting go for me and a time to confront the beliefs that keep me striving. Yes, what is truly amazing, is in the joining together of our union, I am finding the spaces I shine in. My light is more abundant and letting go of aspects of my business I don’t want to be part of, frees my energy to spread more love, give more light and truly be who I want to be.

I would encourage you today to look at your life and see where you are still holding that superwoman syndrome. Where are you still striving, where do you feel like you are alone, where do you try to do it all? Ask yourself, where could you let go, who could you ask for help, who could you delegate tasks to and start to recognize the unique gifts that truly make you YOU. Let yourself focus on the areas you love, the areas you light up in, and that will make you truly a super hero. Let go of the areas that drag you down, make you feel small and hold you back from seeing your own beauty, your own goodness, your own light. Be willing to confront the beliefs that keep your striving, that drive you to strive for that superwomen syndrome.

Most of all today, I would encourage you to seek out more community. It has become a world of isolation, and even in our family units and our work environments, community is still a feeling we have yet to fully understand. We are all seeking community, support, love and friendship. The more I let go of aspects and hand them over to someone else, the more I realize how important sharing our journey really is. This sharing, this community shows us the common source of our divinity and helps us share the riches that each of us brings to the whole.

I appreciate each of you for sharing in my community. I send you lots of blessings and light today on your journey. The divinity in me honors the divinity in you.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Juggling life’s challenges

It has been a month since I last added to this blog, and I have been doing lots of juggling. I don’t know many moms or entrepreneurs that aren’t juggling jobs, kids, schedules and balancing all the aspects of our lives. So how do we keep juggling life’s challenges, and when can we just put all the balls down.

We spend so much time with our lives in the air, and I think for many of us we sometimes think we have two choices: keep juggling or let everything fall down. I am realizing that neither of the options are reasonable or viable. Eventually we will have to stop juggling, and who wants everything to fall at our feet, disorganized and in shambles.

So in my world of unlimited possibilities, I have created a new option. I am consciously choosing to put the balls down nicely. Maybe you need someone else to help you grab a few, or maybe you need to find a nice cushy basket to lay them all in. Whatever works for you, there is another option. The idea here is that you can take a hiatus from juggling and it doesn’t mean you need to take a vacation. What I have finally chosen to do, in my midst of juggling many projects and quite a few businesses, is to deliberately schedule a day where I lay all the balls down.

This week I have declared one day, Friday, to be a day of rest. I have turned down meetings, I have booked myself for that day. One day dedicated to me. I don’t know what I am going to do, but I am not allowed to bring a to-do list. I need a break from juggling and in one day I can recuperate enough energy to keep me juggling nicely for another month. When is the last time you have deliberately called a truce with your juggling and laid the balls to rest? My suggestion is to book that day now and despite the temptation don’t let anything else stand in your way. As always I send you all my blessings and support.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Knowing your limits

So a lot of work/life balance mastery is about knowing your limits. This is true across the board. You have to know your own limitations, limiting beliefs and when your body and mind has had enough. The first step is awareness. When you start to become aware of your energy and your limits, you will start to notice the one moment when you went over the edge.

Think back to a time in your life, where you were cruising along, things were flowing, and then all of a sudden you started to get stressed, overwhelmed, and felt like life was out of control. I have this happen a lot with work, I will be working and things will be flowing. I will have this intuition that it is enough work for today, but instead of turning the computer off or putting my attention elsewhere, there is this little pull, this compulsion. “Just one more email, just one more hour, just one more task.” In that moment I move from flow to force, and my energy shifts. I get overwhelmed, tired, or cranky. If I wasn’t so aware of my energy, I could blame it on a million things. I know now that not listening to my intuition telling me I was at my limit is what put me over the edge.

So becoming aware of your energy is the first step, listening to your intuition and following that energy is the second. We have to often ask ourselves why do we do what we do? Why do we push ourselves to just do a little more? Why can’t we naturally follow our intuition, instead of constantly questioning it with our mind?

I teach people a lot about structure, both physical structure and mental structures. The pull in our life, those little compulsions, are primarily effects of our mental structures: our beliefs, past experiences, fears and mental anxiety. We are rarely motivated by our deliberate decisions, but instead by our mental constructs. So what is it in your mental space that makes you push yourself over the edge? Maybe it’s a belief that you are not good enough. Maybe it’s a belief that there is never enough time. Whatever is holding us back from following your energy, is what often blocks our intuiton and throws us far off balance.

I believe innately we have a guidepost, an energetic compass. It lets us know what is balance for us, it guides us to make the right moves, and it helps our lives flow. We decide and direct this flow, but we can do it from a deliberate state of consciousness or from a limiting mental construct. This energy will tell us when we reach our limit, so the decision left in our hands is will we choose to honor that limit, or will we throw ourselves over the edge?

I encourage you today to look at your life and become aware of your limits, your energy and your mental constructs that are throwing your life out of balance. I ask you to honor that divine compass and let your life flow more freely. As always, I send you many blessings today.